brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I have aggressive nipples.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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