So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
