Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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