if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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