Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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