the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm at about main and main street
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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