office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
