I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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