It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
