If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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