i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
