I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
