Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
