The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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