When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm always down for nudity.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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