would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize