dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
