I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
