Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
