you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I think my moral compass just broke
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
