You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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