Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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