Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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