Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
try to milk me bitch
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