Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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