He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
