oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
