break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
