I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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