good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
