since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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