No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
