ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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