its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
