so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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