He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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