So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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