Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
