flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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