This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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