Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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