Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
