If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
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