well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
cat food counts as protein by the way
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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