Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
