so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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