I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think I won the penis lottery.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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