You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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