sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
