if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
