why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
