Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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