bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
