I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
