yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
