flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
