Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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