Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize