you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
