just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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