I seem to have left my pride at pride
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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