did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
