I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize
