So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I look better un-naked...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
