after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
