It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
porn star boner night. come get it.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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