New low: just hacked my moms facebook
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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