I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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